Everything You Need to Know About The Ned

Everything You Need to Know About The Ned

spaghetti with tomato
sauce, Zobler’s N.Y. Cheesecake, a
Nickel Bar maple bacon slider and a red Mansur Gavriel mini suede
bucket bag (delivered in minutes courtesy of a Net-a-Porter
collab)… The Ned just took room service
to the next level, but that’s not all.

This April (after a £200 million renovation) Soho
and Sydell Group opened their much-awaited members club
and uber-hotel in The City. With all 11 floors, 252 bedrooms, nine
restaurants, barber shop, salon, gym and more fully fired up, we
spent the night at what could be the most exciting hotel opening of
this year. What’s it really like on the inside? Where are the best
spots to eat? Is it all suits? This is what you need to know.

Where can you go as a member of the general public?

Unlike Soho House, where the answer is usually “nowhere”, The
Ned has taken a different approach. The general public have access
to seven ground-floor restaurants, the Nickel Bar cocktail bar, the
Parlour, Cheeky Nails for a mani-pedi, Ned’s Barbershop, Miguel
Perez Hair and The Powder Room for makeovers or make-up lessons. So

What’s the vibe on the ground floor?

“The faded glamour of a 1930s transatlantic ocean liner” is what
inspired the interior design of The Ned and the vibe follows suit.
It’s distinctly old-world Titanic-esque with a grand hall and live
music performances at night. Unless you’re used to state banquets,
the size is what’ll hit you first with high ceilings and huge
marble pillars throughout, but actually the eight restaurants
manage to feel somewhat intimate through the use of screens,
cleverly placed bars and private booths. Yes, during the day it has
a distinctly “work vibe”, you are in The City after all, but come
evening when the piano fires up and the ties loosen, there’s a
buzzy “school’s out” feeling that we dig.

Where should you eat?

We love Malibu Kitchen which serves up healthy South Californian
fare in one of the most private sections of the grand hall. For
dinner, go for the charred peppers and ‘brick’ chicken or fillet
served with mushrooms and tamari sauce. For an Instagram hit head
to Kaia, the healthy Asian eatery, for the flower-adorned poke bowl
or Millie’s for its millennial pink upholstered booths. The latter
is open 24 hours and is a welcome contender for chicest late-night
eatery in London.

What do you get as a member and hotel guest?

Membership at The Ned costs a hefty £3,500 a year, so what’s it
worth? Membership gets you access to the rooftop with its own
restaurant, pool, terrace and epic views of St Paul’s Cathedral.
The food was undoubtedly better than Soho House and the terrace is
around four times the size of Shoreditch House. There’s also the
legendary vault bar, housed in the original Midland Bank strongroom
(which stays open pretty much until you leave), a spa, pool, hammam
and 24-hour gym with its own boxing ring. When you stay with The
Ned as a hotel guest, you get temporary membership for the time you
are there.

But are all members in finance?

No, according to a founding member, just one third of members at
The Ned are finance. The roof felt less corporate than downstairs –
a few suits, glamorous couples, a bride and groom for some added
quirk and the odd celebrity (even if it was founder Nick Jones
showing James Corden around).

Best bits for members?

Most people will say The Vault bar. They’ve managed to transform
the Midland Bank’s original strongroom lined with 3,000 safety
boxes into a cosy, somewhat debaucherous den. Yet on a Tuesday
night we didn’t get to see it in full swing, so it’s the rooftop
for us – it’s rare to get that type of space in London.

What are the rooms like?

Opulent and luxurious with a distinctly 1930s vibe. Think deep
purples and reds with fringed lamps, art deco furniture and
chandeliers. It’s still the type of pinch-me place for those that
don’t often go to hotels but clearly designed with the modern
well-travelled banker in mind. There’s even a crash pad room for
super short stays. Rooms are small but swanky and prioritise the
gigantic, cloud-like double bed. Bathrooms are luxurious, some
featuring stand alone baths, but most a heavenly rain-shower.
Forgot your Lanvin Pocket Scarf or High Power Spanx? Order it from
the Net-a-Porter and Mr Porter room service and it’ll be with you
in minutes.

Are there any teething issues?

For the size of the place, you’d expect there to be some, but
surprisingly The Ned seems to run mostly without a hitch. Service
at the rooftop restaurant was impeccable, rooms spotless, and room
brochures and collatoral perfectly explain the lay of the land. If
we were being harsh we’d say two things. Check in needs work: it’s
confusing across the hall and there was a queue of about six
people, complaining loudly. Bar service needs work: with so many
seated areas, orders get lost or forgotten and we waited around 15
minutes for a G&T.

Discover More
Suite Dreams: The World’s Sexiest Hotel Bedrooms