Less

Less
Lindsay Lohan and more lo-fi luxe, Cali Mykonos is the
latest five-star outpost to pitch up on the celebrity-favourite
Greek party island. Cliff-hugging and overlooking its own private
corner of sleepy beach town Kalafatis, the property is a
masterclass in Cycladic chic that offers a relaxing reset to the
rest of the island’s madness.

The (occasionally bumpy) journey to the 40-key property sets the
tone: you’ll snake past dusty fields and locally owned bakeries
before you’re greeted by an ancient olive tree and softly lit
whitewashed miniature houses. The welcome continues with a homemade
mint-spiked lemonade and a soothing soundtrack of crickets and the
rush of the Aegean Sea below. It’s a far cry from the fist-thumping
soundtrack of Mykonos Town.

Headlining the idyllic boutique abode? A 130m-long saltwater
infinity pool whose curves would make Aphrodite tremble. Rumoured
to be the largest on the island, it’s the nucleus of the hotel,
with both the pool bar and main restaurant arranged around it.
Expect days to be spent fluttering between here and the slice of
secluded beach beneath the hotel.

Aside from the private boat deck and A-lister-approved helipad,
the Cali offers a wealth of wellness-centric escapes designed to
help you find your Zen (or shake off that Nammos hangover).
On-demand personal trainers roam the grounds, Pilates and yoga are
on offer, and in-room masseuses take care of any table
dancing-induced aches and pains. Juice bars, tahini-laced smoothies
and good-for-your-gut cocktails can be sunk poolside, too, with
Michelin-starred chefs and award-winning mixologists paying homage
to the island’s wilder side, making for an indulgent yet
hidden-away-from-it-all escape that’s seemingly been blessed by the
gods.

Rooms

Rooms? That’s an insult to these sea-gazing, sugar-cube
sanctuaries, each of which comes with a private pool. Glide across
the olive tree-flanked terrace dotted with sun loungers and shaded
by a pergola to find a sprawling living space decorated in a
calming palette of Brunello Cucinelli resort collection neutrals.
Beds the size of small catamarans sit at the centre and bathrooms
are bedecked in marble. Ours had tiling in a hazy sunset-pink hue,
and rose-gold taps in the big-enough-for-two rainforest shower.

What’s for breakfast?

Served until midday, the breakfast menu offers a Grecian twist
on the classics: scrambled eggs spiced up with peppers; omelettes
topped with (tonnes) of feta; refreshing smoothies – recommended
for bleary-eyed guests – and baskets piled high with just-baked
breads and pastries. There’s plenty of hair-of-the-dog prosecco,
too.

How about lunch and dinner?

Lefteris Lazarou – the first Greek chef to have been awarded a
Michelin star – is at the helm, so prepare to feast on
Mediterranean classics presented with theatrical flair. The garlic
shrimp slathered in celeriac cream had a hypnotic hold over us, as
did the grilled octopus – both were as fresh as they come, thanks
to the hotel getting first dibs on local fishermen’s catches. Some
plump organic chicken served atop a bed of whipped zucchini cream
was also particularly mind-altering.

Fancy a lunchtime graze? The pork gyros and supersized Greek
salad should do the job. Alternatively, make tracks for the
poolside sushi bar summer pop-up.

Is there a bar?

Sure is. Pick your poison: pool, juice or cocktail bar?

Poolside, you’ll find a seriously impressive slap of blue
Patagonia marble that’s geared up for sin-free cocktail sipping.
Each concoction comes with a shot of something healthy: think
supercharged vitamin C shots in rum-based zombies, and mai tai
mixed with matcha. Circle back past the reception-turned-juice bar
for post-workout shakes and smoothies, or head to the restaurant
bar for a menu inspired by Greek mythology – and a cellar stocked
full of wines made with island grapes.

Amenities

Aside from that ginormous swimming pool, you mean? A gym,
boutique and Pilates studio – TikTok stars, go get it – should be
ready by the summer season. There’s a private port and boat that’ll
whisk you to Spilia for a lobster lunch, then to Scorpios for the
afterparty. Complimentary shuttle buses and golf buggies will ferry
you anywhere else you need to go.

What are the hotel’s eco-credentials like?

They get the green thumbs-up from us. Golf buggies are charged
via the solar panels on the reception’s roof, stones from the
excavation have been repurposed for the hotel’s architecture, and
there’s a nifty purification plant that supplies the water. Food is
farm-fresh and sourced from local producers or grown in the on-site
organic garden. With an allotment in the pipeline, guests will soon
be able to enjoy a pick-your-own experience, too.

What about accessibility?

Really good, actually. Golf buggies are on hand to shuttle
guests around the hotel and all communal areas are wheelchair
accessible. There are elevators throughout and three mobility
suites with adapted bathrooms.

What’s the crowd like?

Couples that have outgrown the influencer Olympics at Interni
and are opting to discover Mykonos’ wilder side sans the tequila.
Children are welcome, too, so expect a side of water splash with
your poolside cocktails. Expect plenty of Missoni stripes, Hermès
orange sandals and Zimmermann dresses on show, with a flock of
matching Mini-Mes in tow.

Things I should know

While Greek mythology may romanticise tales of the Anemoi, the
four Greek gods of the winds, we’ve developed a slight personal
vendetta against them after incidents including a shattered
champagne flute and a flying Jacquemus sunhat. Mykonos is nicknamed
the “Island of the Winds” and, at times, it feels like the Cali is
at the centre of the storm. Pack a vintage Pucci scarf to keep
wind-whipped locks under control.

Within a short walk I can find…

What with the golf buggies, boat and chauffeured car, we’re not
sure we closed a single ring on our Apple Watch during our stay.
But our idleness is a testament to the Cali’s ability to serenade
guests into a sun-soaked slumber. Or so we’re claiming. Each whim,
want and need is seamlessly met, making you feel like a demigod of
your own. Yia mas to that.

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