A mere twelve months ago – before the world hoarded loo paper
and pasta – Brownber Hall and owners Peter and Amanda Jacque-Walker
welcomed stressed-out city folk, avid cyclists and loved-up couples
into their converted Victorian abode. Now, as social distancing
methods become the norm, they’ve pivoted from boutique bolthole to
private rental and left enough snacks in the welcome hamper to keep
your siblings from squabbling. Snug between the Yorkshire Dales and
the
Lake District‘s less-visited valleys, the house sleeps 15
guests across eight bohemian bedrooms crammed with the kind of
antiques your granny would love, thrifty eBay finds and beds
handmade by the neighbouring blacksmith. Just remember to pack your
swimsuit – the area’s known for its serene wild swimming spots –
hiking boots and a few board games. Peter and Amanda will be on
hand (via WhatsApp) to suggest the best walking routes and where to
go to see the stars – Yorkshire’s Dark Sky Reserve is just up the
road – or simply settle in to scoff the welcome hamper. We’d
suggest shotgunning Ma Walker’s marmalade; it has won countless
awards.

Hygge: eat your heart out. This grown-up pad situated in the
rural village of Tongue – a prominent stopover on the North Coast
500 – fuses Scandi minimalism with Scotland’s rugged charm. Vintage
chairs in muted velvet and oak furniture whittled by
Edinburgh-based craftspeople sit beside standalone tubs;
knick-knacks – the kind you’d find propped up artistically in a
Ganni store – decorate iron fireplaces while murals by French
artists can be found in the hall. There’s no tweed and certainly no
hunting memorabilia. In short, Lundies House is achingly cool.
Sixteen people can take over the renovated 17th-century manse (a
dwelling created for and lived in by a Christian minister) with its
three double bedrooms, top-floor apartments and steadings converted
into courtyard studios. Look outside and you’ll see the ruins of
Castle Varrich and vistas so calming and idyllic that they wouldn’t
look out of place on a shortbread tin – a great remedy if someone
is sulking about the last-eaten slice of ginger cake.

As suitable for your girl gang as it is your granny, Cliff Beach
House has a silhouette so striking it likely set local tongues
wagging when it pitched up in Ardmore. Possessing all the
attributes of a forgotten fishing town, this County Waterford
enclave is one ruled by artists. Forget butchers, bakers and
candlestick makers, Ardmore is the home of painters, potters and
poets – many of whom can stroll up to the design-driven beach house
and run creative workshops. Artistic energy aside, Cliff Beach
House’s amenities are more Miami Cribs than they are humble beach
hut. Six rooms benefit from floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking
the wild Atlantic Ocean, a sea-view hot tub sits on the terrace, a
PT-approved gym in the basement and a grand piano in the living
room. The best bit? Take-out has been given a Michelin-star
upgrade. Guests have the option to pre-book a chef who’ll catch
oysters in the morning and shuck them on your doorstep for tea.

The words “holiday park” have a tendency to conjure images of
furry mascots teaching children the macarena or blue-rinsed ladies
bellowing at the evening’s bingo. Yet at Fritton Lake, a luxury
holiday park in the wild East of England, the phrase takes on an
entirely different meaning. We probably wouldn’t invite the same
friends we summered with in Mykonos,
but if you’re holidaying with younger family members in tow, then
opt for the Farm Cottages and lake-side Woodland Retreats – they’ll
love the IRL Bambi that wander freely to your door. At-risk
relatives are also well catered for thanks to a food delivery
service – packed with produce sourced from the surrounding
countryside – so you can self-cater without leaving your pad.

Lavender season in Provence is what cherry blossoms are to
Kyoto: unmissable. Planting itself in the centre of the bucolic
surrounds with views across the Luberon valley is the five-bedroom
La Maison de Constance. Set within the grounds of Airelles, the Provencal house takes on a more
contemporary feel than the chintzy main house. Here, pink tulle and
four-poster beds are replaced by whitewashed beams, a neutral
palette and soaring ceilings that wouldn’t look out of place in a
monastery. The view across from your private pool equals those last
seen on the Jacquemus runway and are big enough for an outdoor
movie theatre, which can be set up at your request. Plus, for every
online reservation made, Airelles will donate 15 per cent to
L’Assistance Publique, a campaign set up to thank the medical
professionals at the forefront of the pandemic. Philanthropic and
family-friendly.

Coated in butterscotch-hued Cotswold
stone and bordering a working farm, each of Bibury’s barns – named
after the livestock they once housed – are decorated with rustic
touches such as thick beams and wood burners, with discrete slick
city influences (read: Sonos speakers and barista-worthy coffee
machines). Most have film snugs (yes, there’s Netflix) and an
outdoor barbecue space. We’ve got our eye on The Stables, thanks to
its moody seaweed hues and the freestanding bathtub in the master
bedroom. Gather the gang for Sunday walks – post-roast courtesy of
The Wild
Rabbit – along the River Coln or a drive into Tetbury to trawl
its collection of vintage stores. Extended the holiday invite to
your cousins, second cousins and their cousins? No problem. There’s
a total of five barns that’ll sleep 38 altogether. Book the
lot.

We’re itching to lose ourselves in the ochre-coloured cliffs and
coves of
Mallorca, and Sa Punta de S’Aguila personifies our villa
daydreams. Set high on a hilltop, it’s every bit the stereotypical
Mallorcan finca. Terracotta tiles can be found throughout, iron
chandeliers hang in the corridor and the bar comes pre-stocked with
botanical-infused gin. Each of the five bedrooms benefits from a
private terrace – most with pool views – so slipping off from the
in-laws is a breeze. Nearby, you’ll find the pebble shores of Son
Bunyola beach. It’s not the prettiest of coves, but the walk from
here to the fishing port of Port de Canonge is one of the island’s
best. The area is known for its cultivation of the prized malvasia
grape, so visiting the vineyards of Bodega Ca’n Pico is worthwhile,
as is opting for full-board dining should you want someone else to
look after the Mother. For the sourdough, we mean.

We (and the whole of the UK it seems) have our sights set on a
late-summer beaches-and-cream getaway, preferably one that involves
afternoon tea and spadefuls of soft-serve ice cream.
Cornwall has everything our Balearic neighbours offer without
having to bundle everyone onto a budget flight, pretty ideal if
you’re travelling with gen X, Y, Z and every age group in between.
Backing onto Pendower Beach on the Roseland Peninsula is this
bleached-blonde wooden beach hut – although “hut” makes it sound
far too humble. A short stroll from the idyllic village of St Mawes
and an easy cycle from Porthcurnick – arguably the best beach in
Cornwall – Nautilus is your launchpad for days spent bobbing
between beach and back garden. Plunder the welcome supplies and
pack off on a picnic before returning with pasties in a paper
bag.