There are various ways to "do" Ibiza. A smash-and-grab weekend involving little sleep and even less clothing is one, a wellness retreat in the rolling hills of the bohemian north another. We think somewhere in the middle is about right, with plenty of long, lazy, beachfront dinners thrown in for good measure.
Helping you to toe this line with barefoot sophistication is 7Pines Resort, a contemporary property sprawling through pine groves atop the cliffs on the west coast of the island. With four restaurants, three swimming pools (not including your private plunge), two bars and infinite photo opportunities thanks to killer ocean views, 7Pines covers all your summer holiday needs in one chic swoop, and is a welcome addition to Ibiza's stellar hotel offering.
Scattered along the coast and throughout the fragrant gardens, choose between a cliff (the most exclusive), laguna or a garden suite. Whitewashed walls and pale-grey floors are brightened by 50 shades of blue in the form of cushions, lampshades, throws and artwork. A natural palette brings the outside in, and we'd recommend augmenting this effect by keeping your floor-to-ceiling glass doors permanently to ensure easy access to your pool at any time. Polished black bathrooms are functional and chic but could be more spacious - ours didn't have a bath, though with so many other bodies of water to float around in we weren't particularly bothered.
What's for breakfast?
Kudos for making it to breakfast. Head to The View for a boundless buffet experience supplemented by an a la carte menu - whatever you want, they've got it. The sweeping blue vista never gets old, so order a vat a coffee, grab a newspaper and settle in.
How about lunch and dinner?
The View is your go-to for Mediterranean-inspired cuisine, while Cone Club is described as "a place for the hedonists in search of the spirit and enjoyment of Ibiza". A sharing menu of Mediterranean fare from Spain to the Levant lends itself to good-time vibes, as do the cocktails deftly whipped up at your table by a sauve mixologist.
Is there a bar?
It's Ibiza, of course there's a bar - two, in fact. Prop up boat-shaped Pershing Yacht Terrace with mojitos in the evening and the Lobby Bar will prop you up with bloody marys the following morning.
The state-of-the art spa more than caters to the R&R side of your holistic Ibiza experience. Don't miss their pool, a tranquil point for mulling over your actions the night before while staring out at the magical island of Es Vedrà, willing its healing powers to soothe your hangover.
A fully equipped fitness centre will cover all your sporting needs, including various fitness classes and yoga (they also offer week-long retreats if you really aren't here to party). Make a beeline for the hair and beauty salon if you need a helping hand to look your best following Monday at DC10.
Things I should know…
Note the "R" word in the name - if you're looking for an intimate boutique hotel experience, this is not for you. It is also family friendly. You have been warned.
Within a short walk I can find…
Hop on a bus to Cala Conta, one of the best beaches in Ibiza. On arrival, nudists turn left, the prudish to the right. Whichever tribe you choose, sundowners should be taken at Sunset Ashram - a gorgeous spot from which to plan night ahead over a jug of white sangria.