If Miami Beach was a man, we're pretty sure he'd be an arse guy. Collins Avenue's beach-backing hotels between the boardwalk and the ocean are prime pool-peeping time; it's all about the rear on South Beach and Nautilus cuts a fine, art-deco figure. Designed in the 1950s by Morris Lapidus - known as the original inventor of modern resort hotel - the aesthetic channels retro-glam with an art-focused approach.
Moody black hallways lead to white, crisp rooms while subdued tones of grey and silver are offset with punchy orange hues. Woven floor mats and seashell lamps are chintzed up with a smidge of Miami flash; Aerin Lauder lookbook this is not. King-sized beds are made to feel practically petite thanks to particularly spacious rooms (by Miami standards at least). With lots of places to sit - there's a sofa, an armchair and an additional chair and table set; we put our posteriers to work and tried every seat. Practicalities aside, the pièce de résistance here is the mini bar, which is housed in a large trunk and stocks an impressive confectionery collection ranging from Nutella snack pots to jelly beans.
What's for breakfast?
Fully equipped for millennial travellers, brunch (served on Saturdays and Sundays) is a big deal here and packed with berry smoothies and avocado toast. For a grab-and-go affair , head to the Nauti Grind coffee cart in the lobby and order a tall Colombe blend with a pastry on the side.
How about lunch and dinner?
The Cabana Club serves up Mediterranean cuisine with fresh Floridian ingredients perfect for lunch, with poolside dining also available. Swap your sarong for a Schiaparelli shift dress and head to the Driftwood Room by Alex Guarnaschelli come dinner; the lemon fish crudo with pequillo peppers (served swimming in a pool of olive oil and lemon juice) is a standout dish.
Is there a bar?
Poolside Nautilus Cabana Club is always a good shout - is that frosé we hear you say? If so, the Miami bug has truly taken hold. For a pre-dinner drink, head for the sparkling lobby bar complete with gilded peacocks and retro furnishings.
We're setting up shop by the palm-fringed pool flanked by breezy cabanas and hazelnut-shaped sun loungers; it's heated, saltwater and overlooks the beach. When the ocean beckons, your exclusive beach access comes complete with umbrellas and towel service (all included in your room cost).
Things you should know…
Every Saturday and Sunday head down to the "weekend BBQ in the backyard" for your fill of frozen cocktails, local DJs and food off the grill. Detox before you retox (again) with Green Monkey Yoga, available on the lawn.
Within a short walk you'll find
Head to the Delano for an evening tipple and wangle your way in to their basement-level bar particularly popular come Art Basel.