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A
garland of sugar-cube bungalows and villas threaded with
tumbling bougainvillea and scarlet hibiscus, all strung along the
rocky coastline of eastern Crete, Minos Beach Art Hotel is very, very easy on the
eye. To say that the property’s setting, Agios Nikolaos, is a place
of rare cinematic beauty is not mere hyperbole: in the early 60s,
French film director Jules Dassin chose it as the location for his
hit He Who Must Die, starring iconic Greek actress Melina Mercouri,
and it’s where, in 1964, Walt Disney filmed jewel-heist mystery The
Moon-Spinners, moving into the hotel, which had just opened the
year before, for the duration.

“Where dreams come true” might be a Disney mantra, but it’s one
that could equally apply at Minos Beach, where laid-back five-star
living sounds like the call of wood pigeons from towering, fragrant
pines and the ever-present whisper of waves lapping against shore;
where a multi-faceted culinary offering champions traditional
recipes and hyperlocal ingredients; where a design ethos of
understated minimalism elevates glass, wood and cotton to
more-than-the-sum-of-its-parts effect; and where contemporary art
installations provide food for thought at every turn. Even the bins
look more like bee hives than somewhere to chuck the rind from that
last slice of watermelon you couldn’t resist going back to the
breakfast buffet for.

A superior waterfront bungalow, left, and views from a
two-bed seafront villa.

Throw in a centrepiece freshwater swimming pool, the garden-set
Anaea Wellness spa, sea-view tennis courts, the possibility of
taking the hotel’s motorboat out to explore the nearby fishing
village of Mochlos or island of Spinalonga (made famous by Victoria
Hislop’s blockbuster novel The Island), watersports on tap and the
crazy-comfortable, new-for-2022 sun loungers, and this is not an
easy place to tear yourself away from. Which is why, at the end of
our stay, when it comes time for us to make the 45-minute journey
back to Heraklion Airport, we want to hug Maria, one of the
ever-accommodating, 140-strong hotel team, when she reassures us:
“London? We have a saying here, ‘It’s only one cigarette
away’.”

Rooms

As though purposefully designed to foster a
running-away-to-a-(this)-Greek-island fantasy. Spanning 15
categories, ranging from one-bed bungalows to a three-bedroom villa
with private swimming pool, all 126 rooms offer pared-back style
and quiet luxury.

Our home-from-home is right on the water’s edge, with its own
loungers and parasol, and a covered terrace overlooking Mirabello
Bay and the mountains on the other side. Inside, pale concrete
floors spell cool barefoot living, with a sofa, tree-section coffee
table, round sisal rug and beaten copper side table all set off by
floor-length taupe voile curtains, which flutter and diffuse
sunlight hypnotically. An ocean liner of a bed is dressed in white
linens, with dark, industrial-chic metal pendant lights contrasting
with tactile, village-made baskets.

Sand-hued suite interiors, left, and glimpses of whitewashed
villas.

A spacious dressing area and bathroom continue the theme, with
two round charcoal-grey sinks, a powerful walk-in rain shower and
separate WC. Organic toiletries, courtesy of the award-winning
Bioaroma, whose HQ is just down the road, are in generous supply,
including eco-pods packed with a hat-trick of shampoo, conditioner
and body wash, which pop satisfyingly against salty skin.

What’s for breakfast?

You’d need a month to try it all. A multi-section buffet spread
encompasses everything you could hope for and much, much more:
cereals, olives, cheeses, cold meats, fish, vegetables, salads,
dips, tarts and a rainbow of fresh fruits, including Cretan
bananas, which are smaller than most but more tasty. Chefs will
whip up an omelette (or anything else) to your specification while
you watch, while a dazzling array of breads and pastries includes
traditional cakes and syrupy village festival favourite loukoumades
– bite-sized fluffy sweet honey balls scattered with sesame
seeds.

Coffee is the time-honoured Papagalos (Parrot) brand by
Loumides, bought in the same, small, green packets picked up in
corner kiosks by discerning coffee lovers all over Greece, rather
than in bulk. You can taste the difference.

Lunch and dinner?

There are four restaurants, any one of which would be a
destination in its own right were it to open in your neck of the
woods back home. Top of the pile are the award-winning La
Bouillabaisse and traditional Cretan restaurant Terpsis, both of
which overlook the sparkling bay and offer refined farm-to-table
dishes seasoned with herbs grown on-site. Wherever you choose to
eat, it’s the attention to detail and passion for excellence that
really stand out: the ice-cold flannel for refreshing hot face and
hands with before lunch: the olive oil presented in sorbet form to
accompany a basket of artisan breads; the waiter who “accidentally”
brings you what he considers the best dessert on the menu (in
addition to the one you ordered), so sure is he that you’re going
to want to try it. (He is not wrong.)

A highlight of our stay was a Friday-night meze at the hotel’s
Kafeneion Adeste – styled after a traditional village coffee house.
Soulful live Greek music by a hugely talented local two-piece was
accompanied by a line-up of Tsikoudia artisanal Cretan raki
iterations, which, at 38 per cent proof, may have added fire to the
Greek dancing that climaxed with some of the dancers swaying,
ankle-deep, in a pond-like art installation by Polish-American
artist Malgorzata Koscielak.

Is there a bar?

Multiple, scattered around the grounds. Dionyssos Lounge is the
place to go for killer cocktails and live DJ sets; Ibiscus is for
poolside sipping and nibbles; the waterfront La Cave de la
Bouillabaisse draws guests and locals alike for its extensive list
of Cretan, Greek and international wines; and Pure Lounge Bar
serves up fancy finger food, iced coffees, fresh juices and spirits
around the fire pit.

Amenities

Guests arrive to a welcome fresh fruit platter and bottle of
Cretan wine in their room, along with all the usual amenities you’d
expect from a leading Design Hotel, including Nespresso machine,
fast WiFi, flatscreen TV and touchscreen climate/audio system.
Elsewhere, there’s an airy library/meeting room stocked with a
multitude of covetable coffee-table books, a well-curated boutique
selling all the pretty things, two on-site Blue Flag beaches, a
watersports centre offering sailing, windsurfing, waterskiing and
the rest, tennis courts and bikes available to borrow.

What are the hotel’s eco-credentials like?

Strong and far-ranging, with social, environmental and economic
sustainability being a key guiding principle of bluegr Hotels and
Resorts, of which Minos Beach is a member. A growing number of
villas and bungalows are equipped with the energy-efficient KNX
system, a smart water management system is in place and
construction materials are sustainable. Locality is a touchstone,
from staffing to food and drink sourcing, and Minos Beach is
actively involved in various environmental initiatives including a
recycling programme, tree-planting scheme, beach and coast cleaning
and providing support to local animal shelters.

What about accessibility?

Some common areas and guest rooms are wheelchair-accessible.
Speak to the hotel for further information.

Airy terrace dining at Bacchus, one of four hotel
restaurants, and the lush Cretan surroundings.

What’s the crowd like?

Urbane, relaxed and elegantly dressed. Think Apple Watch-wearing
young couples with adorable first babies in tow and
too-cool-for-school older parents holidaying with grown-up kids.
The hotel is happy to provide high chairs and cots, but there’s no
kids club. We didn’t see any children between the ages of one and
18 during our stay.

Within a short walk I can find…

The lovely fishing town of Agios Nikolaos, named after the
patron saint of sailors, is a 10-minute walk away, and has changed
little since the advent of tourism in the 60s. Stop for a frappe in
one of the tavernas set around the town’s sparkling Voulismeni Lake
(actually a lagoon, connected to the sea by a narrow inlet), browse
boutiques selling locally made crafts and jewellery (including some
amazing pieces featuring glittering snakes, which were worshipped
by Crete’s Minoan civilisation during the Bronze Age) or visit the
weekly farmers’ market and pick up a jar of the herb-infused local
thyme honey to take home. Also worth a visit is the Folklore
Museum, where traditional woven textiles, embroideries and
handcrafts are on display alongside old photographs and fabulous
folk costumes.

Things I should know

Home – since 1988’s inaugural G&A Mamidakis Foundation’s Art
Symposium – to an evolving collection of unique sculptural
installations by artists from around the world, the hotel’s common
areas and grounds form a unique gallery. An annual contest sees one
winner being invited to stay and take inspiration from this
Hellenic Eden, their completed artwork joining the more than 50
pieces currently on display.

That flash of canary-yellow you spy en route to one of the
hotel’s two private beaches? A rock sculpture by Italian Carlo
Ciarli, resplendent against the regular old rocks on the water’s
edge. Those four, soaring, illuminated pyramids that look like
they’re made of spun sugar, their reflection glowing golden-copper,
after dark, on the inky surface of Mirabello Bay? A work by
Magdalena Abakanowicz of Poland. Chilean artist Lily Garafulic’s
gunmetal-grey… um… bull’s horns? Person doing a handstand? Giant
moustache? We’ll let you figure that one out for yourself.